Looking away is not a compliment either - supporting those affected

Looking away is not a compliment either - supporting those affected

You notice how someone is being harassed or you have the feeling that something is wrong? Catcalling is not a compliment. Looking away doesn't help those affected either. Civil courage starts with you! Here you will find various ways to support those affected. The following tips are based on the 5D model of bystander intervention.

Important: You do not have to and should not do anything heroic. Help if you can - but don't put yourself in danger. Even small actions can make a big difference.


You can do this:

Interrupt the situation
A simple way to support someone who is being harassed is to interrupt the situation and turn the attention away from the person concerned. This gives the person concerned the opportunity to remove themselves from the situation.

This is how it works:

  1. Divert attention away from the person concerned.
  2. Speak directly to the person concerned.
  3. Ignore the person who is harassing you.
  4. Talk about something completely different than the harassment that is taking place & don't make the harassment an issue.

Excuse me, where can I find the nearest pharmacy?
You have great shoes, may I ask where you bought them?
Can you tell me the name of the nearest bus stop?

The strength of the distraction lies in the fact that nobody has to realise that you are taking action against the harassment.


Ask others for help
You don't have to act alone. Ask others for help so that they can assist you in supporting those affected.

This is how it works:

  1. Look for someone nearby who can support you in helping. Often the person right next to you is a good choice.
  2. Briefly describe what you have observed and think together about how you can help.
  3. Depending on the situation, authority figures can also be a good source of support, e.g. employees or the shop manager in the shop, or a bus driver on the bus.


I need your help with something I have just observed.
I think the person there is being harassed. Can you help me for a moment?


Document what you see
It can be helpful for the person being harassed if there is evidence of what happened to them. You can also help those affected by documenting the situation.

This is how it works:

  1. Make sure: Is the person already being helped? If not, use one of the other methods
  2. Document the incident (notes, voice message, video).
  3. Then ask the person concerned what should happen to the documentation; enquire whether the person would like to have the material.


I saw what happened and made notes/video/voice message. I can send it to you if you like.


Show solidarity
Sometimes the situation does not allow you to or want to intervene. Nevertheless, it can help to talk to the person concerned afterwards and ask whether everything is okay - to show solidarity and make it clear that harassment is not okay.

This is how it works:

  1. Let the person concerned know that you saw what happened and make it clear that the behaviour was not okay.
  2. Find out how the person is doing.
  3. Ask if you can support them right now. If you have documented the incident, offer to make the documentation available.


Hey, I saw what happened - can I support you right now?
That was intense. Are you okay?


Name harassment
Sometimes we want to respond directly to harassment by naming inappropriate behaviour and confronting the person causing the harm. Use this method carefully - direct intervention is risky and can exacerbate the situation.

This is how it works:

  1. Before you name harassment - ask yourself the following questions:
  • Am I physically safe?
  • Is the person being harassed physically safe?
  • Is it unlikely that the situation will escalate?
  • Is it recognisable that the person being harassed wants someone to intervene?

2. if you can answer all questions with yes, you can choose this intervention.

That is harassment. Leave the woman alone.
That's not possible. Leave it alone.
Stop! Stop it.


Important: You do not have to and should not do anything heroic. Help, but don't put yourself in danger. If a situation seems threatening or escalates, call the police if in doubt.